actually, I'm a sock model
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
