OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
