I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
