I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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