i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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