You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I CAN MOONWALK!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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