put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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