Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
