And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i dont even know how to be here
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
