my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
