Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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