yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
