I wanna passion pit in your ass
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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