I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
