How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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