I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
