wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
