Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
