Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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