my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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