I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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