Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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