You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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