Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I need moral support for this bender
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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