Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
