You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize