I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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