its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
