How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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