So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
