are you so shy because you have an std?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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