Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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