I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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