brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
