cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So vagazzling was a success
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
