every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
