So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
