I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
