He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
