But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
