You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
