Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
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Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Everclear isn't food dammit
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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