Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize