The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
