Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
love makes seman taste better
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
