Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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