i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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