I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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