Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
