Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
one might say we're banned from that church
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
