Cold hands, warm shart.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
