He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
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We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
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Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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