I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
