Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
