If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
