you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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