Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
