He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
