dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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