I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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