Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
