dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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