Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
