You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
