puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The air taste purple.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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