U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
