if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
