I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
