too bad you live with your parents still
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize