Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you made out with another girl for some wings
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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