if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Houston, we have a blender
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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