I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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