i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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