He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
