I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
