It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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